DEAR FRIENDS- A struggle that seems almost universal is worrying about what other people think of us. How many of us- to one degree or another- lead "other-centered" lives? That is, imprisoned in the anxiety that craves others' approval or fears their judgement.                                                                                                               What is the free and secure place we need to cultivate within ourselves, in order to feel happy in our relationships with other people?
The heart of the solution is to center yourself in your own feeling of "rightness" (the total goodness and okay-ness of who you are....) and self-appreciation.
In other words- YOU know who you are- and you LOVE who you are! So what does it matter what anyone thinks of you? On that foundation, you become able let go of caring what your husband/wife/Mother/Father/friends/boss - your "audience"- say or think about you. You can finally stop trying to please people and enjoy and trust BEING YOU!
To help you in your daily interactions with others, here are two other positive paths to follow.
1. You need to adopt the positive vibration of "I'm okay, you're okay" with everyone you meet. This will shift you out of the burdensome and outmoded childhood fear of being shamed/judged. And you will find that when you EXTEND acceptance and validation to others, rather than waiting for it to come from them, people respond very positively to you.
2. When someone is unkind, judgemental or otherwise obnoxious toward you- as will happen from time to time regardless of how impeccable you are! - remember that their attitude has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR OKAYNESS! Be aware of the fact that they are running on old, painful, tense, unhappy conditioning that they aren't even aware of. Keep your eyes and your heart open and understand their "stuff" as the sad, robotic prison of their unreleased pain. There is both compassion and detachment in such a view- and it has the added benefit of being true (-:.
Of course, if you get "triggered" I highly recommend that you hit the bed, yell into a pillow, and let out your natural and spontaneous reactions. And afterward, when you feel better/centered, tell the person what you feel and need. With confidence and without a "chip on your shoulder". Positive energy, positive approach. Give respect and expect respect.
Put these principles into effect and do what you were born to do. Which is have a great time shining forth and being YOU! LOTS OF LOVE- BRYAN