Trust Your Children to Live Their Own Lives

Any parent knows that there is a fine line between doing the best for your adult child and imposing our own will upon them. Have you ever felt that you could see a wreck coming and wanted to desperately deflect it with some unsolicited advice? Don’t make this mistake, unless you want your children to repeat the same mistakes over and over again keep you opinions to yourself. It is not always an easy thing to do, but in the end a wiser, stronger, more independent child is born. You have to trust that you have done your job. Yes, they will make mistakes, but they will find their way and when they do they will feel so much stronger for it. They will make you proud and will reveal the real job you did as a parent by seeing them navigate through their lives on their own terms. It isn’t an easy thing to do to wait to be asked for your advice. Sometimes you feel a little under valued, you wonder why don’t they ask? Know that every human being wants to be an individual and make their own choices and be free. As much as our children want to please us the natural urge to please themselves is stronger, as it should be. The world would not be the diverse, interesting, wonderful adventurous place that it is if everyone did as they were told. No risks would be taken, no stars born, no dreams fulfilled, if we live in someone else’s ideas of who we should be. In this journey we call life there will be pitfalls and detours along the way. We need to accept that life is not always going to be easy for our children. As we age it is important for us to remember that we too have a life to live. Why not release our children to live theirs and finally begin to live ours. I know first hand it is not an easy thing to do. Just as we have expectations for our children they have them for us as well. They don’t necessarily want us around telling them what to do, but at the same time they do want us there when they need us. So it is to find a healthy balance that serves us both well. If you want an exceptional relationship with your children acknowledge that at some point they are your equal and that you need to treat them that way. We as parents think we have taught them everything they know, but we need to remember that they too have talents, insights, and wisdom that is every bit as powerful as ours. Listen, learn, laugh, and love your children, they are a blessing in our lives. I can think of no more inspiring, life giving, experience than being a mother. I look at it as an honor and not a day goes by when I am not grateful for the experience.