THE STOP WORRYING EXERCISE

DEAR FRIENDS -- What if I told you that it is possible to stop worrying? And that you could -- in all sincerity! -- substantially reduce the degree of worrying you do in about a months' time. Would you be willing to try this simple exercise, which worked wonders for me back when worrying was a constant drain on my energy and well-being?
We all know that worrying never solved a problem, and never made us feel better. Worrying simply doesn't work. But approaching life from calmness, centeredness and kindness to yourself always does.
It is crucial to realize that it doesn't matter what we are worrying about -- money, relationships, health, our job etc. It is the habit of worrying itself that must be confronted and transformed. You deserve a life without the pain of worrying so I hope you will love yourself by giving this little practice a try. I believe that you will be thrilled by the results!
I know that many of you have been searching your entire lives for a way to release the burden of your worrying. And that somehow you haven't been able to free yourself of the "worry habit" and sustain a state of optimism and inner peace in the face of the challenges that life will always bring to you. This practice will enable you to "break through" where you have been stuck and grow a center of peace and optimism in your body, mind and spirit.
The "breakthrough insight" of this worry-busting approach is that we don't just worry with our minds -- we worry with our whole bodies! Our worrying thoughts are always accompanied by physical tensions and restricted breathing. If we try to reduce worrying only by shifting our thoughts, most of the physical tension involved with worrying continues. Over time, the tension in our bodies produces new worried thoughts in our minds! So for the deepest release and most permanent change, the "worry habit" in both the body and the mind must shift simultaneously and together.
Think of worrying as a state of being "uptight" -- "up" in your head, trapped by fearful thoughts and "tight" in your body. When we are uptight, we have lost our calm center. The physical action of breathing into your belly, letting down and letting go, automatically calms your body and mind. And as we let down and let go physically, the kind attitude and affirming thoughts we give ourselves dissolve the "worry habit" at it's physical and mental roots.

THE STOP WORRYING METHOD

Part One - Physical Release
1. Stand with your feet about shoulder width apart. Flex your knees and feel your feet on the floor. This gets you out of your head - and all that worried thinking! - and more connected to your body. It is a basic principle of Bioenergetics (the style of Body-Oriented Psychotherapy I practice) that the more connected you are to your body and the ground, the more emotionally secure you feel- therefore the less you worry! You will flex your knees and keep feeling your feet on the floor throughout the exercise.

2. Now scan your body for areas of tension. In general, people lock their knees, raise their shoulders, tighten their neck, restrict their breathing, and tense in their solar plexus when worrying. The simple awareness of where we are tensing up helps to release it. 
Pay special attention to where your breathing feels tight and restricted. If your breath was completely free, your chest would expand fully and easily, and the wave of breath would extend without effort all the way up through your throat and all the way down though the belly and into your pelvis. This is true for very few people, but if you observe infants you will see it is the natural breathing pattern we are born with. Our birthright!

3. Next, take the deepest breath you can and raise your shoulders upwards toward your ears. Then, let your shoulders drop and sag completely, as you make an "aaahhh" sound and let your breath completely out. This sound releases the heart chakra/chest area. You are letting go and letting down the "up-tightness" and physical stress of worrying.

4. Now place your hands on your belly. Take three final breaths, breathing deep into your belly. As you let your breath out, make an "oooo" sound. Let the breath completely empty. This sound releases your belly/energetic "center". When you are grounded in your body and centered in your belly, you cannot be "uptight" - that is, stuck in your head and your worried thinking.

5. Having released the physical tensions typical of worrying and centered your awareness in your body, you are now prepared to "plant the seeds" of a worry-free, optimistic attitude. 

Part Two- Activating Your Inner Peace and Optimism
 
1. Stand in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye. As you do, imagine that you are the kind of mother or father who is always encouraging and knows exactly what to say. Or, imagine that you are speaking with the peace and wisdom of your own soul. The basic concept is that the person in the mirror (the part of you that is worrying) needs to let go of fear and trust that all will be well. You are going to help him/her do that.

2. Say these words out loud: "Sweetheart (or a nickname), there is nothing to be afraid of. I am with you and I love you".
Look for a feeling of tenderness toward yourself as you speak these reassuring words. The attitude of tenderness allows your body and spirit to accept your words of reassurance.
 
3. Now say: "I completely believe in you! You have everything you need inside you to handle this. You have the...." (list the 'inner qualities' and strengths that will help you creatively work with what you have been worrying about).
Examples of inner strengths: faith, love, patience, creativity, honesty, physical energy, positive attitude, wisdom, experience etc. Be very specific about what particular "inner strengths" you need to feel better and creatively solve the challenge you are facing.
 
4. Finally say this: "It's okay to just let go and trust. All is well, and all will be well."
Remember that at the deepest level, it is our insecure "Inner Child" that is worrying. She/he needs to be reassured that everything is going to be okay. 
Repeat this this three times, looking for the attitude that is reassuring and sincere.

5. Having completed the exercise, let go and continue with your day. You will usually feel better immediately from the exercise. Over the course of time you will notice that the frequency and intensity of worrying fades away from your life.

When you've tried this for a while, I'd love to know how it worked. I look forward to your comments! LOTS OF LOVE -- BRYAN