Well, getting acclamated to the University has turned out to be a disaster.  I've brought my problems as they each occur, and there have been many, to the powers that be.  I seem to be doing the catching and solving of them oddly enough.

If that hasn't left me wondering who, if anyone, is in charge... the lack of stellar anything cinched it.

I wound up dropping a course because I failed a test.  I failed, it was devastating.  I never fail, I don't even get C's.  I asked for help & the teacher was too busy, found my question about what to focus on "high school".  She had given us a study guide and only 10% of the study guide was on the test, a 10 question test.  I read my homework, I studied for at least 8 hours and learned that this teacher is holding you responsible for information not in the book or any guides or in class.  When I told her I thought I should drop, she actually said "you're the only person in this class having problems" and look quite jubilant.  Clearly Prof. Arrogant has not heard any of the chatter after class - everyone is struggling.  She is so involved her material, she has forgotten that it's an introductory course... and she is a TEACHER, not a master. 

I also failed another test.  My personal level of stress on campus has been compounded by this.  Failing????  I make A's.  This is beyond discouraging.  School is my refuge, a place a I love, I love learning. 

That is changing because of this school, because of some of their staff and because I'm learning that alot of what they tout about their University... is not exactly true.  Each department I've gone to either doesn't know, doesn't care, isn't sure, refers to another department...it's like being at the small town circus.  A few broken down rides you're not really sure you want to ride on, but that's all their is.

Adding that the school website is constantly down and the IT department doesn't put up any notice on the site that it is down or they are working on it.... you don't know why or when it will or won't be working.  Oh the fun! 

The topper is that financial aid had me accept a loan of $8500, which is $2000 less than the maximum.  I got no explanation and also did not get the $8500.  While several persons at school keep telling me that I got alot of scholarships and grants I'll be fine, they seem to be forgetting I'm not living a home with mom and dad during breaks and I actually have to maintain my life while I'm in school.. 

And I'm trying, but a surprise that equals living on less than half my expected $8500 = work more.  Now in a big city, temp work is what we do.  In smaller towns, apparently trying to survive is frowned upon.  I guess I should just not work?  I don' know.  I have two part time jobs.  One is 10 hours a week and the other is 6 to 12 hours a week.  It's the 2nd job that is a pain because the manager just doesn't understand why I need a schedule and he insists he cannot write one up for the week.  He leaves the place for the entire shift putting two young people in charge with no training who think they are the manager.  Hardy har har.  Each one has a different set of rules.  Each week he drops me off the schedule and then yells at me because I'm not at work.  Or he puts me on the schedule and asks why I am at work.

I haven't had alot of spare time to go find a different 2nd job, trust me I'm looking.  I went to the school job office for work and they misunderstood and thought I was looking for full time work and recommended I delete all the dates off my resume because it would like it was temp work.  Uh...... it says I was a freelancer and these are assignments...so it IS temp work.  It is my dumb down resume', if I put all the work I actually do on it... they don't even have that job here and I can't get that job because it requires a degree.  Hence, the college courses.

Back to square one.

So I ask financial aid about housing.  They will increase my budget for that, but there isn't anything available and if you want to wait it costs $200 (non refundable) AND if you don't take what comes open... you loose your spot in line and the $200.  And, the 200 square foot box is $450 a month with no fridge or stove.  It's 1/3 of a mobile home with a bathroom.  I could do it, but I'd pay more to live here than where I live now.

Back to square one. 

I need to be focused on studies and working.  Instead, I'm trying to get all my records straight at school, figure out what and why my financial aid is doing what it is ....or perhaps isn't.  I'm making very little headway.  After 6 weeks, I finally got paid from that job.  I'm doing better in my courses, but I still need a different night job.  A bartending job would rock...really.... if I could find one. 

I moved here because this place has a reputation for being warm, friendly and helpful.  A slower pace, kinder, more personal attention and I guess that was all in my mind.  Some lady in financial aid screaming "why are you asking questions" who is not reprimanded.  Some teacher who thinks questions are below her.  Some director who is limited to quoting policy and can't actually answer a question. 

I might as well be going to school online.  At least you know you're alone and on your own; and you don't have to deal with people who don't care because there are no people.  Was my warm, friendly memories of this place just in my head or has it changed so much that it's just a memory now? 

Hello discouragement, have a seat... hot tea and cake for we loathesome creatures who need social interaction and reliable information.  It's the only service around as far as I can tell. 

Oh, if you can't see me... it's the invisible cloak I got at registration.