SELF-LOVE MEDITATION:"THE FOUR DECLARATIONS"

DEAR FRIENDS -- The most life-changing growth you will ever experience is learning to completely love and believe in yourself. Your love for yourself is the bedrock of your own happiness and the ability to have a transformative impact on the world around you. The greater your love for and confidence in yourself, the more joy and inner peace you experience and the greater the happiness you radiate to others.
The more deeply you understand it, the more you realize that claiming your strengths, seeing your beauty, validating your own rightness, and loving yourself unconditionally is the central purpose of your life. In other words, discovering and fulfilling YOU is your surest road to happiness! Awakening self-love at a primal level takes time, focus, persistence -- and the clear realization that nothing else will make you permanently happy!
Mirror meditations are a concrete and powerful way to open your heart to yourself. By consistently affirming, encouraging and accepting yourself with this exercise, you will awaken the "inner voice" of self-love at deeper and deeper levels. Over time, inner strength and confidence take hold and become strongly rooted within you.
"The Four Declarations" are, to the path of Self-Love, a powerful practice -- like meditation in Zen Buddhism. Each of the phrases, while deceptively simple, are emotionally very evocative and build up the attitudes that create unconditional love for and belief in yourself.
The Exercise:
1. Stand in front of a mirror. Look yourself in the eye . As you do, imagine that you are the kind of mother or father who is always encouraging and knows exactly what to say. Or, imagine that you are speaking with the kindness and certainty of your own soul . The basic concept is that the person in the mirror needs love and recognition, and you are going to supply it. As unnatural as this may feel at first , I promise you will get the hang of it very quickly!
2. As you keep eye contact with yourself, one-by-one say these phrases to yourself. Say them out loud (this is essential) and say your own name at the beginning of each phrase (also essential).
- "I love you completely".
- "I completely believe in you" or "I completely believe in who you are".
- "There is nothing wrong with you and there never has been".
- "I promise that I will always love you and I'll never leave you".
3. As you work with each phrase, stay with it and repeat it a few times. Try to find that place in you which passionately and sincerely feels and believes what you are saying. For most of you, that passion and sincerity will be difficult to find at first. This should be taken as a true "wake up call" that your self-love is less strong and complete than you may have thought. This exercise tends to be both "diagnostic" and serves as the right medicine we need to repair our relationship with ourselves.
4. You may also find that some phrases are easier to say, feel and truly believe than others. There is much to be learned about your attitudes toward yourself by contemplating which phrases are difficult for you -- and why!
5. Finding the Special Words You Need
Lastly, say something to yourself that you really need to hear right now. The more you need to hear it, the greater the growth that results. Find the words and attitude that are nurturing/encouraging/loving/healing.

Like meditating, praying or doing yoga postures on a daily basis, this exercise when done regularly will create a profound and life-changing effect. It will fundamentally transform and improve your relationship with yourself. It can be done in 5 minutes or can be prolonged and elaborated upon according to your needs.  I have found that it can be done at any time to re-connect to yourself in a loving and confident way, but it has special benefits if done at the end of the day before sleeping. The reason is that the love, reassurance and encouragement you give yourself will be "soaked up" and take root in your unconscious mind as you sleep . Slowly but surely this positive and loving attitude toward yourself outshines and heals your feeling of somehow not being "good enough" and the relentless mental chatter of self-criticism .

How and Why This Works: The transformative factors at work in this practice are a. Activating the subconscious "inner voice" of self-love and self-validation b. Awakening the feeling of being loved and valued by yourself c. Eye contact with yourself while in a loving attitude goes to your heart and enables it to open.

A Note on Resistance: You may notice from time to time that you have become more reluctant to work with yourself in this way . When this happens (and it almost certainly will) it is usually because you need to ventilate and release the pain that is surfacing as a result of your growing self-love "pushing out" the old sorrow, anger, fear, guilt, shame etc. It was, unconsciously if not consciously, very painful to to feel and think negatively about yourself, so your body and spirit need to release that stored pain. Sometimes you'll start crying and you won't know why , or you'll get angry for no apparent reason . Don't be afraid and trust your feelings. Give them the expression they need and explore them in your journal, in therapy etc. When energy moves in this way, the true meaning is that your work is having a deep and powerful effect. Your love is growing, your heart is opening and your spirit is breaking free. LOTS OF LOVE -- BRYAN