Bethany Larimore

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I am sure that many of you have heard someone say: 'Put it down to life experience'.

But something you do not hear many people talk about is learning to experience life. Even in spite of the fact that we life in a self-helf, 'learn to live your life to the fullest' culture, we still mock the people that try and bring living life messages. They are too happy-clappy.

Learning to experience life is not about being positive 24 hours of the day. It is about relearning to experience emotions that we have closed off and it is about relearning to actively look around us.

How can you truely enjoy life when you only ever experience your emotions at 50% capacity?

I know from personal experience how easy it is to allow yourself to close up after experiencing a trauma. It is a very useful defensive mechanism that protects you at the time. The problem is that it isn't easy to switch off.

I believed, then, that if I kept my bad feelings numb then I wouldn't feel depressed anymore. However, feelings seem to be an all or nothing experience. You try and numb one and you numb them all. So for a while I actually aggravated my depression by trying to numb the bad feelings.

When you allow yourself to feel again it is very intense. But even at your lowest low, those dizzying heights of pleasure and happiness make up for working through the negative emotions.