It's scary. Some people cringe right up if I say those words. Those that bear the same battle scars are all related.

Something like that. Well whatever doesn't kill me, definitely makes me stronger.

At first when I talk to someone, they get sad. But what they don't understand is, it's OK now, because it's over. It's been over for more than two years now.

I am learning as I go. My biggest problem was worrying about what his family was thinking. I was sure lies and rumors were flying around. I hate drama, always have. And I sure would hate to be a seed for it.

My kids tried so hard and were a big help. They said not to worry about them, because the truth would come out. I feel like I am always defending myself. Well I had enough.

Of course they were right. I have learned, that as evils try to overcome, stay focused and stay strong. We end up being a rainbow after a fierce storm. Cool, huh?

Writing all over the internet are all pieces of my book which I believe I will entitle, "Behind the Mastermind (of an abuser)".

In talking, chatting, emailing with people all over the country so far (I hope to be able to say 'world' some day), I have told enough of the profile, shocking many of them that someone actually knows, understands, honestly was there, being spat on for example on the floor. Yes, I was there.

I also have not been surprised. These beasts get stronger by degrading decent, caring human beings. I think the common ground for us, is we are wanting to trust, wanting to believe, and actually do feel guilty for the wrong reasons.

I found myself actually apologizing, after being hit. Those who were in the battle know.

The more publishings out there, in my eyes, the more credible I am for someone to reach out to. I have too many things that I want to do.  But at least I want to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

How can I find these people?  I pray.