<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?><rss version="2.0">
<channel><title><![CDATA[Blog4Change.org - Comments for article: REVOLUTION OF LOVE: UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN'S RIGHTS]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org</link><description /><language>en-us</language><copyright><![CDATA[http://www.blog4change.org]]></copyright><generator>N/A</generator><webMaster>webmaster@blog4change.org</webMaster><lastBuildDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 21:33:16 UTC</lastBuildDate><ttl>20</ttl><item><title><![CDATA[REVOLUTION OF LOVE: UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN'S RIGHTS]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2084</link><description><![CDATA[Good response Brian.

You say, "As proof I offer the fact that in both the U.S. and Europe the non-spanking movement has existed since the late 1930's. Seventy years later, it is still not "cultural common sense"  that kids are emotionally damaged by being slapped or spanked."

So then "the answer" is not for a 'non-spanking awareness movement', but rather for a 'learn to heal yourself movement'? Or is it a 'rights of children movement'?

I guess what I'm asking is, what will it take for parents to stop abusing children on a broad level? You have a good analogy with over-weight people, I relate to it on a smoking level. Even though I know cigarettes are killing me and making me unhealthy, I continue to smoke. So what will it really take to trigger a different response.<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Jumping Jelly Bean at 10:35 am, Tue 4th May 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Jumping Jelly Bean)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 04 May 2010 10:35:43 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2084</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[REVOLUTION OF LOVE: UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN'S RIGHTS]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2073</link><description><![CDATA[Hi Brian - you raise an important issue, but I think you miss the real point. It is easy to tell a parent to not slap, spank, punish or otherwise unintentionally demean a child. The problem is that these parents typically don't know what else to do. So, say a child is acting up in a grocery store, the parent needs constructive advice on how they are supposed to handle the situation. When a parent chooses to abuse a child, it is usually because they have no skills or knowledge of other ways to handle the situation. 

When I was in college and studying child psychology I learned so many techniques to help me deal with children that I did not have any knowledge of before. That is why I am constantly amazed that a person must be certified to be a personal trainer, to be a computer programmer, to be a dentist, or lawyer, yet a person can be a parent without any training in parenting. I believe the answer should be in the form of requiring child rearing courses for all current and prospective parents.

So, you raise a very important issue, but I think specific advice on how parents SHOULD treat their children, not using vague terms like, with love, caring and understanding, but with specific techniques, is the way to change the world of parenting.<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Jumping Jelly Bean at 8:07 am, Mon 3rd May 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Jumping Jelly Bean)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 03 May 2010 08:07:35 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2073</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[REVOLUTION OF LOVE: UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN'S RIGHTS]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2083</link><description><![CDATA[HI JJB -- Thank you for your very thoughtful reply. I passionately agree with you that practical and non-violent, non-humiliating parenting methods need to be widely disseminated. 
However, don't you think that a movement to teach this style of parenting on a society-wide scale -- say, in schools and places of worship -- would meet with indifference, or even worse passionate resistance? The sad fact is that most people still feel it is their right to treat their children as they choose, up to and including spanking and verbal humiliation. All, of course, "for the child's own good".
You say this: "When a parent chooses to abuse a child, it is usually because they have no skills or knowledge of other ways to handle the situation." I disagree, I think that for the majority of parents around the world the true cause lay much deeper. I have seen, from deep introspection in my own life, and from my work with therapy clients who are parents, that parents are driven to repeat behaviors on their children that they once experienced. This is an intense compulsion that does not easily change -- even with education about alternative approaches.
Here's a vivid analogy: Everyone knows, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that it is unhealthy and even dangerous to be significantly overweight. There are many helpful techniques and organizations that a person can reach out to in order to lose weight and keep it off. But even with this universal education, and abundant support, most people cannot permanently lose the weight that reduces their well-being and even threatens their health. Why? Because in most cases there is an unconscious compulsion to overeat, in order to comfort oneself and suppress emotional pain. And, I might add, the core of that pain began in the person's childhood. The dysfunctional ways that we treat our kids serves to suppress the pain we once experienced. 
Don't get me wrong -- by all means we should publicize and disseminate positive parenting techniques. But unless there is a simultaneous movement to awaken people -- on a profound emotional level -- regarding children's basic rights and emotional needs, only a few people will choose to educate themselves about non-violent ways to handle their kids. 
As proof I offer the fact that in both the U.S. and Europe the non-spanking movement has existed since the late 1930's. Seventy years later, it is still not "cultural common sense" that kids are emotionally damaged by being slapped or spanked.
Thus far I've been responding to your comments about physical violence (in the name of "discipline"!) toward kids. You raised another issue, about my using "vague terms like, with love, caring and understanding."
This is another aspect of children's needs, that of the type of emotional attitude a child needs for it's parent to have toward her/him. A parent's basic emotional response to the child is not a "technique" that can be learned. It is an inner feeling of patience, warmth, tenderness, acceptance, affection. Alas, most people don't have these kinds of feelings, in a strong and steady way, toward themselves! To the degree that one is critical toward oneself, one will unconsciously be rejecting toward one's child of what one rejects in oneself. And where do we learn to be critical of ourselves? From the way our own parents responded to our authentic feelings: anger, willfulness, sadness, sexuality, excitement, fear, love and the longing for touch, love and affection. The degree to whicht these basic self-expressions were met by fear, anger, shaming, misunderstanding -- yes and even physical violence such as spanking and slapping -- by the parents, is the degree to which the adult feels shame, self-criticism and self-doubt.
Shame and relentless self-criticism seems to be epidemic in the majority of people around the world. Where does all that come from? From important ways in which our instincts and authentic feelings weren't met with the -- dare I say it? -- love, warmth, tolerance, patience, understanding, trust and open-heartedness which is the basic emotional right of every child! This core acceptance of all that we are is the basic emotional feeling we need to have toward ourselves, and which our children need from us to feel emotionally secure.<br/><br/>
Reply to Previous Comment by BRYAN at 8:29 am, Tue 4th May 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (BRYAN)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 04 May 2010 08:29:33 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2083</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[REVOLUTION OF LOVE: UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN'S RIGHTS]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2058</link><description><![CDATA[Bryan......That is... a very very deep and interesting Blog~ It can be  very controversial ..... considering  each persons *own story *....or dilema~ However  taking in consideration the word *Abuse to a child*   you have  laid it out plainly and are absolutely right~it does need to awaken the world to this cruelity and demeanor.... for our future childrens  sake~  Marvelous Blog!<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Old Soul at 7:01 am, Sat 1st May 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Old Soul)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Sat, 01 May 2010 07:01:24 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2058</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[REVOLUTION OF LOVE: UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN'S RIGHTS]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2070</link><description><![CDATA[DEAR OLD SOUL -- Thank you for your reply -- and support! It comes as no surprise that this blog is getting less readers than any other writing I have published on this site. What I am saying here is emotionally challenging, and therefore not the "easy listening" that comforts folks without challenging them to open their hearts to their very personal pain -- and the emotional suffering in the world around them.
We cannot fully recover our capacity for inner peace and joy without recognizing and releasing our the feelings we've suppressed in order to adapt and survive. Our parents, our religions, our societies did NOT consciously intend to hurt the innocent and trusting children we once were -- and yet, for the vast majority of us, that was what occurred. Jesus once said words which apply perfectly to the truth I am struggling to awaken people about: "They who have ears, let them hear"!<br/><br/>
Reply to Previous Comment by BRYAN at 5:48 pm, Sun 2nd May 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (BRYAN)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 02 May 2010 17:48:17 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2429/1/REVOLUTION-OF-LOVE-UNDERSTANDING-CHILDRENS-RIGHTS/Page1.html#Comment2070</guid></item></channel></rss>