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<channel><title><![CDATA[Blog4Change.org - Comments for article: I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org</link><description /><language>en-us</language><copyright><![CDATA[http://www.blog4change.org]]></copyright><generator>N/A</generator><webMaster>webmaster@blog4change.org</webMaster><lastBuildDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 19:02:44 UTC</lastBuildDate><ttl>20</ttl><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment3541</link><description><![CDATA[This story is about two men from completely ineffredt sides of the tracks that would otherwise never have met but for a chance sexual encounter in a department store where they were accidentally locked in for the night. Neither can forget that night, or the other. Dr. Chris Love is an L.A. plastic surgeon. Rich, with a successful practice and a house on the beach, Chris is a good man. He doesn't take his life for granted and pays it forward by volunteering his services at a free clinic. But even with loving parents and supportive friends, and for all he has achieved in life, Chris is lonely and alone. He doesn't do the club scene because it leaves him unfulfilled and while he'll think twice before passing up an opportunity for sex, he's looking for something more, for a relationship that will meet his particular needs and for someone to share his life with. Philip Andrews is beautiful and his face and body are his bread and butter. After leaving small town Washington because his family would have physically hurt him had they known he was gay, he lands in L.A. A high school dropout with a police record and no employable skills to speak of, Phil makes a living using what he considers his best assets, his face and his body. By night, he's a go-go boy at a popular gay club, and by day a sometimes porn star. Owing to his need to keep up appearances with a nice car and clothes, Phil is in dept to his earlobes and on a proverbial hamster wheel in trying to pay his credit cards, rent and in general make ends meet. His go-go dancing becomes more risque as he allows clients to take more and more liberties with him both on stage and during private dances for larger tips and he gets deeper into the porn industry for the lucrative returns by accepting roles that leave him feeling increasingly dirty. Both Chris and Phil's lives are empty. Weeks go by after their initial encounter and neither of them can forget the other. But a second chance sighting sets Chris off to find Phil and to see if there's any possibility for something beyond their one night in Nordstrom's.  Calling Dr. Love  by G.A. Hauser is a wonderful m/m story of two men attempting to forge a relationship with all the odds stacked against them. Hauser goes deep in this story to honestly explore the wants and needs of both Chris and Phil and the complexities of their relationship. Sometimes I read a story where a character remains with me long after I've finished the book. The character of Phil falls into this category. Hauser does some exceptional writing in respect of Phil's point of view and his internal struggle in respect of who he is and wants to be and where his life is headed. Hauser does not skim the surface, but rather intensely explores the many layers of Phil and his multiplicity of feelings   of power and control when he's turning men on while dancing and his absolute disgust with, and hatred for, himself for what he considers falling slightly short of selling his body and possibly his soul. And although Phil is very proud, at the same time he doesn't believe he's worthy of a love relationship, especially with Chris. Hauser equally goes deep to explore and reveal the character of Chris. While in comparison to Phil on the surface Chris appears to be uncomplicated, we quickly learn that this is not the case. Chris fights to reconcile the gamut of emotions he experiences because of, and for, Phil. On the one hand, he wants to protect and support him in getting out of the hole he's dug himself into and on the other, he wants to respect Phil's decisions about his life and be with him regardless of what he does for a living. At the same time, he questions whether his obsession with Phil is a means of fulfilling some form of sexual fantasy or if Phil is really the man he loves and wants a relationship with. The inner richness of these characters, their coming together and their attempts at carving out the parameters and substance of their relationship, is what I loved most about this story. For me the strength of this story lies in Hauser's incredible characterization which is further bolstered by equally intelligent and realistic dialogue, in particular in respect of the exchanges between the characters. And while their sex/love scenes are well written and quite arousing, for me they are almost incidental to the story, the focus of which is the relationship that Chris and Phil have with themselves and attempt to build with each other. There were a few weaknesses in the story. First, the editing didn't catch the accidental switching of character names thereby confusing two scenes that required re-reading. Second, I found the ending of the book a little too rushed. Hauser takes her time in developing the story and characters in some 260 pages and I felt that had she devoted a little more time to exploring certain aspects of both Phil and<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Lucy at 9:19 pm, Sun 22nd Apr 2012]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Lucy)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 22 Apr 2012 21:19:02 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment3541</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1884</link><description><![CDATA[Kim, I find that it is helpful as well as realistic to hold in tension two beliefs about myself: first, "I am good enough."; second, "I am never going to be good enough." In the first, I acknowledge the Creator's design in me; in the second, I admit that God is still working on and in me.
I do wish, sometimes, that I had figured this out 20 years sooner so I would have focused much more on the positives when I raised our children.
Thank you, Kim, for sharing.<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Coach Theresa Ip Froehlich at 4:57 pm, Fri 9th Apr 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Coach Theresa Ip Froehlich)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 09 Apr 2010 16:57:08 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1884</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1919</link><description><![CDATA[Marian,
There are so many things I wish I'd figures out sooner in life!!  Thank you for the reminder about us still being a work in progress.  I have noticed that sometimes people do confuse the abiltiy to feel good enough as we are right now, with complacency.  We are ever growing, ever changing beings, and we will always be working, striving to be better than we are today.  But I like knowing that what I am today is exactly what I need to be, and it is indeed, good enough.  Thank you so much for you thoughts.<br/><br/>
Reply to Previous Comment by Kim DuBois at 10:22 pm, Mon 12th Apr 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Kim DuBois)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 12 Apr 2010 22:22:16 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1919</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1875</link><description><![CDATA[Marian, I agree wholeheartedly!  I have found that in almost every case, when someone is criticizing it is a mirror for their own insecurities.  Helps to keep that in mind.  Thank you!<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Kim DuBois at 1:05 pm, Thu 8th Apr 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Kim DuBois)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 08 Apr 2010 13:05:21 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1875</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1847</link><description><![CDATA[Im sorry  Kim  it should have read  *Dont take it to HEART*     Thanks<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Marian at 12:31 pm, Tue 6th Apr 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Marian)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 06 Apr 2010 12:31:29 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1847</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1846</link><description><![CDATA[Very interesting article *Kim*   *S*  My daughter said the other day  that~When someone criticizes a person  ~ it may well be constructive   but on the other hand  some people do that when they themselves actually have a low self esteem~hmmmm~ Dont take it to hear dear~   *S*Keep up the the great work~<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Marian at 12:29 pm, Tue 6th Apr 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Marian)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 06 Apr 2010 12:29:07 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1846</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1838</link><description><![CDATA[Jelly Bean, you have precisely captured the spirit of what I was trying to convey!  Using those positive affirmations can make all the difference in the world when it comes to our perceptions and how we feel.  But from the other point of view as well -  our words do have an impact.  We must decide what kind of impact we wish to have.  We DO get back what we give.  Thank you so much for reading and for commenting!

Kim<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Kim DuBois at 9:13 am, Mon 5th Apr 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Kim DuBois)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 05 Apr 2010 09:13:25 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1838</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1833</link><description><![CDATA[Over the past month or so I have ingrained a saying into my head, very similar to this post, which goes... "I totally and completely accept myself."

Whenever I have any kind of negative feeling, I recognize the negative feeling, say it out loud, then say, I totally and completely accept myself. This instantly makes me take a deep breath and I instantly release all of that negative energy, because I recognize it, then accept it, then I move on with it off my shoulders.

But - I was also thinking something earlier tonight exactly like this post, only from the criticizer's perspective, as Nancy pointed out in her comment. We need to realize that our words effect others. On this site so much is focused on how we need to learn to deal with things, but I think that is a passive attitude. The point of this site is that you get what you give out, so the next time you give out criticism, no matter how delicate you think you are being, think of how you would feel if you got that criticism and let positive words of encouragement come out of your mouth instead.

You see, if you give out criticism (a negative trait), you get back a negative reaction. But if you give out positive words, a positive reaction will come back to you, and now, here is the best part, you not only made yourself happier, you made someone else happier too!

Amazing how the whole world changes with your actions and perceptions. The world need not change, you need to change how you perceive the world... imho

Good post Kim - thanks for getting me to thinkin'!<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Jumping Jelly Bean at 9:37 pm, Sun 4th Apr 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Jumping Jelly Bean)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 04 Apr 2010 21:37:56 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1833</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1829</link><description><![CDATA[lol...  Thank you Nancy!<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Kim DuBois at 7:04 pm, Sun 4th Apr 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Kim DuBois)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 04 Apr 2010 19:04:32 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1829</guid></item><item><title><![CDATA[I Am Still Good Enough!]]></title><link>http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1827</link><description><![CDATA[Oh this was a good one Kim.  

Not only to remember that you are still good enough, that really is the best.  But thinking as the criticizer the dumb things really don't matter. 

Like when my husband is backing up, in the car,  he turns his head to look behind, and he makes this annoying grunt sound <g>.  

And I always say "Why are you grunting?"  <g>  I know it's a habit, because it certainly didn't take a hell of a lot of energy to turn his head, lol.  But he never backs up without the grunt.  

I will grin and think of this post next time he does it. 

"so what! why does it matter?  I’m not hurting you or my car, and who cares anyway?  "<br/><br/>
Comment posted by Nancy at 5:05 pm, Sun 4th Apr 2010]]></description><author>no@spam.com (Nancy)</author><pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 04 Apr 2010 17:05:22 UTC]]></pubDate><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.blog4change.org/articles/2244/1/I-Am-Still-Good-Enough/Page1.html#Comment1827</guid></item></channel></rss>