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Confronting and Changing Negative Behavior
http://www.blog4change.org/articles/992/1/Confronting-and-Changing-Negative-Behavior/Page1.html
By Spiritual Warrior
Published on 11/21/2009
 
I can easily accept those parts of me that are loving, compassionate and kind, but can I accept myself when I'm angry, judgemental, or controlling? Honestly, it's difficult to do. In those moments when I am faced with criticism, anger, impatience, resentment, self-judgement or judgement of others, I am quick to react from my ego rather than respond from my soul. When I react thoughtlessly I experience regret, and I find it hard to forgive myself. This is especially true when I'm dealing with my daughter in those heated moments where control becomes an issue. Control seems to be the area my ego is not willing to give up and I must be right and win the arguement. Letting go and letting God carry me through these moments can be difficult to do. I now make it a habit by always being aware of what I am feeling and always being aware of my intentions behind each choice I make. Awareness being the key word. I feel the feelings totally and completely and then I respond to the situation rather than react. This is not easy to do, but it can prove to be a healing process. By making loving, compassionate, and healing choices in the most difficult situations, for example when we're trembling with rage. How many times in those moments have we just allowed the ego to lash out in fury instead of challenging those feelings by feeling them completely, then respond from our soul instead of reacting from our ego? By no means is this easy to do, but I make it my mantra every moment of everyday. Asking God for guidance and strength in these moments helps too. Namaste.

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In the process to becoming whole spiritually we must love every part of ourselves unconditionally.  But in order to do this we must accept the dark side of ourselves.