What does it mean to be sorry? Being sorry means not having to say it again for the same thing. Sounds like a tough thing to do, but real remorse demands change.
How many times have you in your life have you had to say you are sorry for something that you continue do repeatedly? If you find yourself saying yes to this question it is time to take a look at what you are doing and why you are doing it.
To be respected and to have integrity it requires someone to also be accountable. Most times repeated wrong doings are opportunities for growth if we are willing to see them. Nothing is more damaging to trust and loyalty then feeling you can’t believe in someone’s word to change. It is important to not be persuaded into agreeing to something that you don’t think you can do. Many times those who have a weak sense of boundaries have trouble keeping their word and can’t say no. In the end it comes back to haunt them and it only damages their integrity further.
If you have decided that being of your word is top on your list it is important to know that not everyone is going to be happy with you when you stop going along with them. When you go along with people you can dodge a conflict, but that won’t be the case when you are telling the truth. Face it head on and when you feel yourself saying yes to someone when you really mean no ask yourself why you are doing it. Don’t put off saying no to something until tomorrow that can be done in the moment. It will be harder to deal with the situation the second time around and you will be more inclined to stick with it even though you don’t want to. It won’t happen overnight, but in time all of those you are in relationship will begin to see you in a new light. Having the respect of those you love and care about will be worth your efforts. In time it will be come easier to let go of being a people pleaser and hold on to your integrity.
It’s important to know that the person you hurt the most by not being of your word is yourself. People who consistently agree with things and don’t keep their word become incapable of following their own inner guidance. Things become so askew that one loses their own natural ability to guide themselves. People who do this truly don’t know what is their own choice or someone else’s. It seems easy for them to disappoint the people they are closest to and thrive on the approval of those they hardly know.
So the next time you say, “I’m Sorry,” be willing to do what it takes and back up your words with action. Ask yourself why you are willing to damage meaningful relationships in order to maintain those that aren’t nearly as important to you. In these moments you will be able to see the areas within yourself that need to be looked at and correct them.