Deep inside I wanted to scream out for help. Deep inside I wanted to say, "I just can't do it anymore". Deep inside I wanted to give up. Deep inside I fought for an answer. I didn't find one.
I reached a point of no return. I would never ever be the same. No one loved me. I was nothing. I couldn't even care for myself the way I should. My children were suffering and my husband was suffering. I had no desire to be the mom and wife I had committed to being. I didn't want to be.
Then one day I hit the bottom. It was dark, scary and I thought of things I had never wanted to think in my life. I wanted out. I wanted to quit. I didn't think I was worth anything. I was gone. I sat at the bottom of my stairs and cried. Hours went by before I realized that I was crying. My husband and children had apparently been talking to me the whole time.
What caused me to finally hit rock bottom I wondered. I didn't know what to do. I wondered for a week how I was going to live through this pain and sorrow. My life was miserable and I didn't care about it.