TRUST YOUR SADNESS

DEAR FRIENDS- A client once asked me to clarify the distinction between sadness and depression. I believe that most of you will find my answer to her question innovative, provocative and illuminating. And, ultimately life-giving.

Since we are living in an era where sadness and depression are tragically misunderstood as "imbalances in brain chemistry" I feel it is of the utmost importance to tell people that their feelings of sadness are completely real. Our short and long-term sadness are natural responses to the unreleased pain of actual experiences in our lives. Depression is always- no exceptions- related to an important loss of what we needed the most. And that always means a loss of love.

This insight can empower a person to heal the roots of their sadness and depression- permanently. And to achieve this in a way that liberates the deep well-being and lively happiness of their core self.

It is a basic principle of Bioenergetic Psychotherapy that a person's ability to experience the joy of living- on a daily, ongoing basis- is proportional to their ability to lovingly face and release the pain they carry. Denying our painful feelings ensures that we will continue to be burdened by them! But validating them and letting them go restores our natural ability to feel peaceful and free.

Opening your heart to your sadness- in order to understand where it comes from and fully let it go- is a beautiful and healing act of self-acceptance. I hope my words to my client help you on your own journey to the self-love, inner peace and happiness you deserve.

"Dear _____ You've asked me about the difference between sadness and depression. That's a great question, because it will help us to see how the Bioenegetic therapy you are doing will ultimately heal you of both. And help you feel free and happy again!

In your recent sessions you have made great gains in being able to cry and release more deeply and completely. This is a much less depressed and much more alive state than when you were "stuck" in the sadness and unable to thoroughly let it out. Even though the crying and increased sadness you've been experiencing can be painful at times, in the larger picture it's a positive development because it indicates you are breaking through the denial and connecting with your genuine feelings.

Remember how we identified your 'joking' attitude as your way of 'rising above' and pushing away your sadness? Your work in therapy is helping you stay more real and authentic, which will lead you to a much more open and happy place. I guarantee that this current "wave" of releasing will leave you feeling very much better.

As you work with the feelings, always remember that genuine inner peace and joyfulness can only grow when we've faced and release the pain we carry.

I see sadness per se as a natural reaction to experiences of loss, frustration etc. If a person is completely in touch with their sadness (no denial) and letting all of it out, there is no depression. He/she feels relieved and open after crying, "cleansed" emotionally and restored to feeling peaceful.

Depression, on the other hand, is when a person is sad (or angry or afraid) but isn't fully connected to the sadness. They are fighting the sad feelings, trying to escape them, which prevents their cleansing release through crying. Therefore an excess of sadness builds up in the body, cutting down on energy levels and not allowing the person to completely feel better.

So you can see that a person can be very sad, but not depressed- if they are open to the sadness and are fully letting it out. Whereas depression could occur with actually a smaller degree of sadness but with a lot of suppression and denial about it.

The key for you, I believe, is to TRUST your feelings of sadness as real and authentic reactions to unsatisfying life situations. You have a right to be sad! Some of these situations have to do with the present day- for example the breakup with your boyfriend- and some have to do with sorrow from your past which was never fully healed and is still in your body.

LOVING YOURSELF is all about believing that your sadness is a real part of you, and a signal to search for the reasons you are sad (past and present) so that they can be healed. Releasing your sadness and making positive changes that create happiness is what your path in therapy- and life- is about. Keep going, keep feeling, keep opening up and releasing. I'm with you! LOTS OF LOVE- BRYAN