I am not a fan of celebrity gossip. I don't buy tabloids, and rarely even watch TV. In spite of my Hollywood isolation, it is almost impossible to escape certain stories and headlines.
I don't know much about 'Jon and Kate' as I've never seen their show, but I do know that their marriage has deteriorated over the last season or two, and as I open my MSN web browser today I see that Jon is dating. Though I didn't read the story, I can't help but wonder if this is really the healthiest thing for Jon, or anyone in his situation.
Though I am not picking on Jon, or judging him in anyway, for the sake of this blog, I'll continue using him as an example. I believe we all have a part to play in the situations of our lives. His situation with Kate is no different. Of course Kate has her own part to play and her own actions to be responsible for, but so does Jon. There were choices and decisions he made (as well as Kate) that led them down the path they now find themselves on. If Jon, or anyone, does not like their life or something in it, I believe they must look at themselves, their beliefs and the choices they make in order to change it. If Jon created an unhealthy relationship with Kate, he will continue creating unhealthy relationships, no matter who the woman is, until he figures out what choices he made that led to the unhealthy parts in the first place. Once he figures that out and can turn those into healthy thoughts, beliefs and choices, and then and only then will he be able to have a truly different relationship.
But doing that is hard. It's scary, and it means looking at ourselves in a way few people are comfortable doing. I believe that is why so many people run from one partner to another, often times recreating the same circumstances, the same issues and the same pain, over and over again.
I myself am divorced, and understand all too well the need to be loved. But in my first attempt at a new relationship, much too soon after the separation, I also saw myself repeating all the same patterns, doing all the same unhealthy things, just with a different man. It wasn't the men, not necessarily, it was me.
I truly wish Jon and anyone is his situation all the joy, happiness and love they deserve. I also hope they have the courage to do what I believe deep down, is necessary in order to find it.