My neice has just split up from her boyfriend. By her own admission it was her fault. She was too much of a princess and in the end he had enough. She apologised, called him, sent him emails, texts, you name it, but no joy. Though my heart breaks for her I watched her spend much activity and energy trying to do something, anything to take away her pain and make herself feel better. That's what we do. We are so fearful of having to ride that emotional wave of pain, or sorrow or anguish, that we busy ourselves with anything we can as a distraction. We try it all. From taking up a new hobby, to joining an internet dating site to meet the next guy quick, to getting drunk / or high to drown our sorrows. And yet, if we just stopped and let the emotion wash over us. If we just grieved, allowed ourselves to feel bad, hibernated for a while, whilst keeping faith that this situation too would pass I feel that we would be truer to ourselves. We would allow that emotion not to be buried within us, and we would enter the next phase of our lives cleaner and clearer. If you look at animals when they are in pain or distressed, after the initial activity of reacting they become still and calm and simply endure the negative emotion until it passes. Today my dog got stung by a bee. Intiailly he yelped and licked his paw to get the sting out and wouldn't let me near him, but then with his paw lifted, he just sat and gave into the pain and discomfort. I watched him all day, and though I wanted to make things better for him immediately, he remained calm and still until the pain subsided. There's a lot to be said for being. Sometimes being rather than doing is what we need to do.