Was thinking about apologies the other day and how much shame and guilt is often associated with them. Then I thought of the saying, ‘true love means never having to say you’re sorry.’ Most of my life I thought that meant that if someone truly loves me they won’t expect my apologies, even if I’ve hurt them. Perhaps…
Typically, we feel the need or are expected to say we’re sorry when we’ve done something wrong, been mean, hurtful or damaging. In my ponderings, I realized that basically we feel the need for atonement when we’ve done something we regret or wish we could take back. And then I thought of those words again - true love means never having to say you’re sorry.
What if, instead of the idea that the ‘love’ is shown after the harmful deed has been done, it’s the love that prevents it in the first place.
Many times we say things we regret out of fear, anger, frustration or pain. We react from a place of negative and painful emotion, lashing out to protect ourselves in an attempt to feel better. But what if we waited to speak or act until we had come to a calmer more peaceful place? What if all our words and actions had a more positive foundation, one of truth, love and compassion? In that case, I think the words we’d speak would be quite different at times.
If so, then I believe that regardless of how the other person chooses to act, there’d be no need for us to apologize because we are coming from a good place, speaking our truth without fear, malice or judgment. No regrets, just respectful honesty, even when it’s something they don’t want to hear.
I don’t know if anyone can ever love me enough to excuse any wrong deed I might commit, but I do know that if I always come from a place of love – for myself as well as love for others, there will simply be no need.
always it is my goal to uplift, inspire and help others to heal their lives. Thank you for allowing me to be part of that with you.—Kim