You’ve started this journey. You’ve worked every day to let go of the old stuff, the negative thoughts and unhealthy behaviors, you’re changing bad patterns and using affirmations every day. So how come you’re still not happy?
It’s easy grow impatient with your work and progress, especially when you feel so desperate to create the change you are looking for. But remember, success is not measured by where you are, but by how far you’ve come.
This work is a process, and must be approached one step at a time. I often tell my clients to image a flight of stairs. At the top is the outcome and goal they desire, at the bottom is where they are today, and all the steps in between are the work. Each step must be taken in order to get what you want, and most people aren’t going to be able to skip steps or take them all at once to reach the top.
I know how frustrating that is! You’re sad and you want to be happy now You’re frightened and alone and want to feel safe and secure now. You’re facing financial ruin and you want more money now. Now.. you want these things NOW! I get it. But let me remind you, you didn’t get to this place over night. You didn’t go from happy to sad in one step, but rather life chipped away at you for awhile. Because of that, doesn’t it make sense that it’s going to take some rebuilding to mend each of those little chips?
Here is a great way to gage how you’re doing; Do you feel better? I didn’t ask if you are happy, jumping for joy or rolling in money, I asked if you feel better. If you do, then you know you’ve made progress. Maybe after spending several days feeling very angry and bitter about something, you’ve been able to let some of that go, and now are left feeling frustrated. Does frustration feel better than anger? For most is does, and that is progress. Maybe after just being frustrated for awhile, you move into irritation. Again, you want to be happy, not irritated! But irritation feels a little better. With irritation, you begin to believe you have a bit more control over things. While you probably still don’t have all the answers, you are calmer each day. Then soon, you notice that the irritation begins to fade and you even have moments where you feel encouraged. In time you begin to realize that you can make these changes, that life does get better, and you are not a victim to circumstance. Before long you realize you are actually hopeful, and hope is very close to happy.
Like I said, take it one step at a time. How long will it take to go through all the steps? That’s up to the individual person and the issue they wish to heal. Some move quickly, and others need several months to bring themselves up the stairs. In every case though, as long as you’re feeling better, you are doing it. You are making changes and you are achieving your goal. Just because you’re not there yet, doesn’t mean you’re not doing it. It’s a lot like training for a marathon. Deciding today to run a marathon doesn't mean you’ll be able to do it tomorrow! Instead you have to train and build up to it, but when people ask you tell them, “I’m doing it. I’m running a marathon.” even though you’re not there yet.
This is the same. You’re doing it. You’re working every day to feel better, knowing that the end result is well worth the steps in between.
So are we there yet? Probably not, but we’re getting there. Every day, we are getting there, and that is good.
As always, it is my goal to uplift, inspire and help others to heal thier lives. Thank you for allowing me to be part of that with you. - Kim