"What should I do, what should I do? I hate my job, my relationship stinks and I'm unhappy all the time, my kids never listen and are too disrespectful, I'm overweight and can't stand looking at myself in the mirror, my life is a wreck, and... I don't know what to do!"
We are very action oriented people. When things go wrong or seem to be out of control in our lives, we are plagued with the feeling that we have to do something in order for things to get better.
"Maybe I should quit my job, get a divorce, discipline my kids more or try harder... I don't know what I need to do, but I know I need to do something!"
But I want to tell you that in order to affect change in your life, you don't always have to do anything. I know this is a completely new concept to most of you (and was to me too!) but you really can resolve the problems in your life without doing much of anything. It really is more about how you feel than what you do.
Let me put it this way. You are so frustrated and so unhappy with your relationship that in a moment of desperation you decide you are going to leave. And for a moment, you feel empowered. But almost immediately you feel guilty, sad and fearful. "Am I doing the right thing? What if I make a mistake?" And soon you're back to square one... What should I do?
Instead of leaving (at least right away) decide instead not to do anything. You are not deciding to leave or stay, but instead simply focus on feeling better. You might say to yourself, "I don't know what to do right now, but I do know I want things to get better" and then you just let it go. I know it sounds crazy, but you don't have to think about the relationship at all! Because every time you do, it only makes you sad, so let go. Instead do what makes you happy, find ways to feel good, the go on about your day.
And sometimes that's all you have to do. Sometimes if you just relax a little, let go and find a peaceful place to dwell in for a time, you'll be amazed at how the situation actually resolves itself. Without your doing anything. Crazy I know, but there really is power in this.
I know it feels completely wrong to do nothing to solve a problem, but what have you got to lose? What have all the sleepless nights and worrying gotten you so far anyway? Just give it a try for a day or two, and let me know how it feels. Would love to hear how things turn out!