DEAR FRIENDS -- This simple exercise, when repeated over time, will build up your subconscious voice of self-acceptance regarding your sexuality.  Many of you will find that your sense of adventure and sexual enjoyment increases, while your difficulties fade. If you reach a point where improvement ceases, remember that sexual openness depends on overall emotional self-acceptance and aliveness -- see my blog "Sexuality and Self-Love". Gains in sexual satisfaction will begin improving again as you unsuppress and release feelings in other areas -- for example, buried anger or sadness.
Instructions: Stand (or sit if you cannot stand) before a mirror and look into your own eyes. The idea is that the person in the mirror is in need of your complete acceptance and loving support -- and that you (as the one speaking) will supply it!
One-by-one, repeat aloud any or all of the following statements. Speak slowly, working with the ones you choose for a few repetitions before moving on to the next. Try to find the place in yourself that truly believes what you are saying, and learn to let passion and expressiveness come into your voice as you speak. One trick is to speak like you are talking to someone you really love (your child, your best friend, etc.) and you very much want them to believe what you are saying! The more sincere, expressive and passionate you are in saying these self-affirming things to yourself, the more your body and subconscious mind will believe them.
Always use your name at the beginning of each statement. This is essential for gaining your subconscious mind's attention and allowing the words to touch your heart:
"(Your name), there's no need to feel guilty or ashamed."
"(Your name), I completely accept your desires."
"(Your name), your sexual pleasure is totally positive."
"(Your name), your sexual desires are totally positive."
"(Your name), it's good to let go and lose control."
"(Your name), it's safe to trust your body and let go."
"(Your name), you deserve to be sexually satisfied."
"(Your name), it's good to move and make sound during sex."
"(Your name), I want you to have fun in bed."
-"(Your name), sex is for pleasure, not a performance."
"(Your name), I think your sexuality is beautiful."
If you don't feel 100% enthusiasm for any of these self-affirming statements, recognize that there is room to grow in your connection to your sexuality. And that your joy will definitely grow as you embrace the goodness and rightness of your lively sexual self!
LOTS OF LOVE -- BRIAN