Your relationship to your past, present and future is very similar to the engine of the train. It could take you on a straight ride toward your destination, or it could derail your life journey at any given moment.

Let me explain what I mean by giving an example. At any given moment, I could be simultaneously burdened by grief over past pain, driven by present anxiety, and overwhelmed by an uncertain future. How I relate to these three phases of my life at any given moment will shape the choices that I make. This in turn shapes the kind of life journey I have.

For some time, I have been pondering on how to relate constructively to these three parts of my life. Then the lightbulb went on two weeks ago when I was watching the 2010 Winter Olympics speed skating. The speedskating team members positioned themselves at the places specified by the rules. Olympic medal winners, Apolo Ohno and J.R. Celski, were skating at over 30 miles an hour as a relay team. J.R. Celski skated with focus and gusto until he reached where Apolo Ohno was waiting. Apolo was poised in such a way he was ready to propel himself forward as soon as J.R. Celskireached him. When J.R. got to Apolo, he gave Apolo a push to give him some momentum. The two worked beautifully as a team and won their medals.

If I use J.R. Celski to represent the present and Apolo Ohno to represent the future, then the present and the future are handled by two different skaters. Each of them is responsible for his part of the race. J.R. Celski will not skate Apolo Ohno’s segment, nor will Apolo skate J.R. Celski’s portion. However, how well J.R. Celski skated had a direct impact on Apolo’s performance and on the performance of the team as a whole.

Now I try to imagine Theresa Past, Theresa Present, and Theresa Future as three members of the Olympics speed skating team. How well one team member handles the present directly and strongly influences how well the next team member handles his portion of the competition. The team members work as hand in glove and keep the overarching goal of the team in their minds. While all the team members work for the common goal, each team member must take care of his own responsibility.

For this reason Theresa Present cannot do Theresa Past’s job. Theresa Present can learn from Theresa Past, but she cannot turn the clock back and relive the past. Similarly Theresa Present can set goals and plan for the future, but she cannot turn the clock forward to live the future in the present. This delicate balance of being connected to the past and the future - without being held hostage to the past or overwhelmed by the future - is the key to mapping a satisfying life.

1.Handle the present with full focus and strength. In the same way that J .R. Celski gave his best to skate all the way to where Apolo was waiting, I can have a winning strategy for living by giving my all to the present.

2.Train for effectiveness. J.R. Celski and Apolo Ohno have dedicated their time, energy, and attention to their passion for skating. They became winners as a result of their hard work, willingness to learn, and persistence. They work with the coaches and trainers and they practice until their skill matches the challenge. In life, there are some areas such as relational and communication skills where I still need to get trained. And I am willing.

3.Stay connected to the past without being ruled by it. Life has a way of delivering blows that cause pain and grief. The past will always be a part of who I am but it does not need to be my ruler.

4.Keep eyes and ears open to the future but keep feet firmly planted in the present. In the same way that J.R. Celski skated his best to finish his portion, he also kept his eyes open for Apolo Ohno so he could give Apolo a powerful push. Yet he kept his focus on skating his portion really well until it was the time for him to push Apolo.

If you were to describe how you relate to your past, present, and future, what words would you use? What might be some challenges you face in leaving the past behind you while staying connected to learn from it? How do you handle your hopes and dreams for the future without letting them distract you from giving your best to the present?