What is that dominant emotion you feel when you think about the gap between where you are and where you want to be?

You have dreams and goals for your future: dreams for family, for friendships, for career, for relaxation, for personal development, and for spirituality. You, like the rest of us, are also aware that there is a gap between where you are now and where you want to be. How you relate to this gap will determine the kind of life you can enjoy and the kind of person you become.

Being a Type-A personality, I have grown up with a great deal of anxiety about this gap. I always felt I was racing against the clock; I convinced myself that I should have gotten there yesterday. This kind of anxiety-driven way of relating to the gap creates many negative companion emotions. These negative emotions in turn shaped the way I used my time, the way I related to people, and ultimately the way I related to my God.

It had taken me many years of learning from the hard knocks of life to develop a new perspective on and a new way of relating to this gap. Though I did not enjoy these crucible experiences and I would not ask for ”free refills”, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and what I am becoming because of these experiences.

1.Choose a new perspective on my life journey. Life is a journey, not a race. Every experience along the way is to be savored for its educational and developmental significance. As my eyes focus on each segment of the journey, I don't miss the present while focusing on the distant future.

2.See myself as a work-in-progress. As a young adult, I would just chide myself for not accomplishing a particular goal on a particular timeline. As I have become more mature, I am more able to see myself as a diamond being continually polished. This is a multifaceted diamond which my Creator would not stop polishing until the day I meet him in heaven.

3.Plant my feet firmly on this earth. This is a day-by-day and moment- by-moment choice to live in the present. When I sense that my anxiety level about the gap is escalating, I begin to check my entire emotional thermometer and I begin to pray. If necessary, I seek support from my friends so I can talk through my feelings.

4.Journal about the gap. Journaling has a way of helping me process the information and my emotions. It is as cathartic as it is revealing; it releases my emotions as I write and it reveals solutions as I ponder with pen on paper.

What has been your experience of relating to the gap? What are the emotions that emerge? What strategies have you used to relate to this gap? What would you do differently today?