It is currently 3:36 a.m. on Wednesday morning.  Not that that is a big deal in and of itself.  I mention it only because I am awake and on the computer. 

     I sometime awake at odd hours during the early morning when others are sound asleep.  Years ago I would attribute it to the stress of daily life.  Family, job, bills, etc., etc.  Today though, I cannot say any of those reasons would be why I am blogging at the moment.

     Life is somewhat easier now that the children are grown and have families of their own.  Retirement on my husband’s part has enabled a steady income, something we never had while he was working. Now being retired, he still chooses to go back to work sometimes when he is called.  You see, his reputation precedes him.  He is honest, respectful, and extremely hard working.  He has gained the respect he receives himself, because of those qualities.  He asks only for a decent wage and continued respect.  He does not imply he is better that anyone else and he asks only of his co-workers what he expects of himself.  That request simply put is work.  Work hard, give a good day to your employer and fellow employees and ask only of others what you would ask of yourself.  Going back to work once in a while keeps him in touch with his friends and with the industry he worked in for 33 years.  It has been good for him and for us.

     We married almost 36 years ago.  Nowadays that seems odd.  It is almost weird when you answer the question 'how long have you been married' and the person asking the question looks at you almost sideways.  It is as if to say we are an oddity that we have lasted that long.  In today's world it is much easier to quit a marriage and hang up your hat.  Why bother to struggle when you can start anew?

     We have struggled over the years.  We have gone through years of very little work and lots of unemployment.  Years in which stress of raising children seems to never end and years when health problems seem to start in January and not end throughout the year. 

     Looking back, I will take each one of those years. I will take each year and the problems it brought with it.  With those problems came solutions, growth, endearing love and the life I have now.  I still work part time.  That is my choice.  I believe it is good for our marriage.  It is good because it prevents us from being together 24/7.  It allows us communication and interaction with others and as I have said for years, you cannot grow together unless you are apart sometimes.  We cannot be a couple that spends every waking minute together.  There is nothing new to talk about then.  No conversation about what happened in our day that the other does not already know.  No conversation about what happened this afternoon or what is scheduled to occur next week Thursday. 

     For us, being together 24/7 is a recipe for failure.  I have seen too much failure and I choose not to go there.  I enjoy my husband coming home and sharing his events of the day.  I enjoy sharing mine with him.  No matter if he is at work or is working out on our land in the hot sun with sweat pouring down his face.  It allows him time without me and me without him.  It allows freedom to do what we want, when we want.  It allows the freedom of knowing that we can each have a wonderful day or a lousy day and still know that someone is there when we reach the door at night. 

     To me, marriage is work. It is a job in and of itself.  It is a job I am glad I own for the past 35 plus years.  It is now the security of knowing that I will see him and he me.  It is the security of knowing that even though he does not express in words what he is feeling, he does express it in action.  The action of his choosing to be at home at night, instead of at a bar or out with friends.  The action of his choosing to start my car in the middle of winter and scrape off all the snow to make sure it is ready for me when it is time for me to go to work.  It is the action of his choosing to make dinner so I can come home and enjoy a good meal; the same type he enjoys when he is working and I am not. 

     We have two daughters who have chosen wonderful men to marry.  We have four grandsons who are one of the greatest gifts any child can give a parent.  We have a marriage that had endured time and trouble.  More importantly, we have a marriage that allows me to look back and see good times over the years that were directly caused by the hard times.  Failure, or what we think of as failure, is actually a lesson in life.  There is no failure if you continue to grow.  We continue to grow.  We grow in strength, love and commitment.  We know the other person will be there at night when we walk through the door. 

     Marriage to me is work.  Hard work with a good partner and not giving up because we hit a bump in the road or a dead end street.  Find another path....it is worth the work and the wait.