As we get older, the people we get to enjoy holiday traditions and memories gets lesser and lesser. I was so brainwashed that I severed relations with my own mother. She never did anything wrong but I was convinced otherwise. She wasn't invited to my wedding or there for the birth of my last child.

Once my husband was removed from our house, I reconnected with Mom. I apologized and explained what was being driven into my head for years, and we reconnected just like nothing ever happened. It was awesome. We both said to each other that we could die happy now. We talked on the phone and I would be her legs for her, her one leg would give out and she started falling frequently. I did her banking, went to the res, picked up her prescriptions etc.

She blacked out during a phone conversation and I sent the ambulance there, she had a couple incidents in which I accompanied her and looked after her.

On a Friday night right after New Year's, Mom called me around midnight. She said it was accidental and her foot hit the phone. No matter, we chatted all night long til 6am. I am not a big fan of the phone, either. We talked about everything, my ex, my childhood, her childhood, the family members, my kids, everything. I was supposed to take my truck for inspection in a couple hours and I was starting to get tired, we closed out the converstation, I told her "Love you Mom" and she said "I love you too, baby." And 20 hours later, she died of a heart attack in her apartment.

Don't tell me things don't happen for a reason. Ten years nothing. A year and a half of reconnecting, rebonding, that phone conversation, and then she left. Last year was our first Christmas back together again. This is our first Christmas without her, not by choice.

Last night I opened this ornament that she had given me after Christmas. It's a tiny angel blowing a kiss. Wow. All I can tell you readers is, don't take tomorrow for granted. Tell your loved ones, that you love them. It takes so much negative energy to hold a grudge or be judgmental over stupid things. Remember what matters. Loving your family and being there for them.

I wish you a warm peaceful holiday with those you care about.