Blog4Change.org - http://www.blog4change.org
Sruggle to find me
http://www.blog4change.org/articles/1136/1/Sruggle-to-find-me/Page1.html
By cathy blakely
Published on 12/9/2009
 
I once was lost but now im found ,once was weak but im Strong

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As a young woman i had to grow up fast and on my own, my mother never really educated me on how to be a mother , or woman of the world everything I know now i know because of my self , dont get me wrong I love my mother to deaf. I had my first child @ 14 trs. old and i struggled to go back to school but i end up quiting in the 12th grade because i had to take care of my daughter and move out my moms house because of my step father , he was the devil of all things , I had to grow up watching and listen to him beat my mother and she stayed, he was on drugs and pawn our belongs , me and my sister had to clean up after him.The part when he told my mother he couldnt stand me was enough, and from her telling me that i better not get pregnant or she will kill me instead of tell why not and how not ,i ended up pregnant and scared to death she never knew i was pregnant til i was 7 months.So now her i am as a young woman withmy own house and kids seeing my self going through the same thing , mens beating on me not knowing i was worth way more than that because thats what i saw coming up , but as i got wiser I knew im worth way more that that so i left him and when i say i left him i left the states , i moved to Fl. and went back to school and now im a cna and i promise myself and my kids not to holla or beat them the way i was.I got saved and my whole life and understanding of my self is so more clearer to me , so i realize that alot of women today allow ourselves to be beating and abused in any form because we dont know who we are or what we are worth , if you are in any type of abusive relatiopnship or if you are the one abusing then stop , search and find your self