Do you ever wish that voice in your head would just shut up? Where does that voice, or perhaps those voices, come from? I bet one of them is the voice of your mother. Another is the voice of your father. Can you hear your boss in there? Possibly your priest? Does it feel like all these voices are yourself talking to yourself?
The voice is telling you what you should do, must do, have to do all day long. Then another voice comes in and says "I don't want to". Now, this create internal frustration. This causes a continuous stream of internal dialogue that is constantly setting off emotional feelings inside your body.
For example, you have the thought "I have to go to church on Sunday". The next thought might be, "but I really don't feel like going this week"..."but I should go, what will my friends think"..."I am frustrated". The frustration releases chemicals into your blood stream and causes stress and tension. Next thing you know, you are yelling at your 5 year old for spilling a cup of milk.
Why do you feel that you have to do these things? Who says? The voice in your head does. But is that voice really you?
By always doing what you should do, you create internal conflict that spills outward into your external reality. You want you life to be peaceful and calm. How can you expect this when you are in so much conflict internally?
Start to become conscious of the conflicts in the dialogue in your mind. When you are conscious, YOU can observe the voices that sound like you, while realizing that YOU are not the voices. You are not the voices, because you can be aware of the voices, and not get involved. Just watch, like you are watching TV.
Start to notice how many 'shoulds' and 'have tos' you are carrying. Is there anything you can eliminate? If not, just by being conscious of the voices, they will start to go away. They can't keep talking if you are watching. They can only go on and on if you participate and feed it energy. When you watch, you cut off the energy supply. When the voices have less energy, you will begin to see what you really want to do, and what you don't want to do.
If there is something you truly must do, why resist it? This only creates frustration. Be conscious every moment during the task, without letting your mind comment about it being bad or boring, and you will feel more free.
If you really don't have to do it, then just say no. I know this is easier said then done and takes a bit of practice. When you say no, you are honoring yourself and honoring the other. By saying no instead of yes, you don't bring your frustration and resentment to the activity in question. The other person is better off without your negative energy if you really don't want to do it. Then, you free up that energy to do something that you have a genuine delight in doing. You will feel more energized instead of drained. This will bring more sanity to your life.